Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end, part one
So it's been a long time since I wrote, seems like the last time I sat down and actually wrote something meaningful was the last time I sat in this very spot and contemplated where my life was going.
Seems like that is what I have been doing a lot lately, because my life certainly has changed a lot since the last time I wrote.
But first I'd like to share something about myself that I don't really think anyone knows about me, unless they've seen me bawling over the endings of shows... well the series finales then they might know this.
I hate endings.
A few moments ago I re watched for the second time (only second because again I hate endings) the Republic of Doyle series finale.
Now I'm a pretty emotional person to begin with, added with the very fact that in the episode the two leads fought to be together, one of them ended up in the hospital while pregnant and a few gun shot wounds (she was pregnant before hand) and then when her boyfriend found her the look on his face was unbearable. I'm not gonna spill all the details of this heart wrenching moments of this show, espesially when he found out she was pregnant and how he basically almost fought several cops to go see her.. which reminded me of how badly I want to be with the one I love right now.. yea you get the picture, empathy is a powerful thing and can stir up emotions in all of us.
My point is, I'm horrible with endings.
I have watched almost every episode of my favorite series of Power Rangers, Gilmore Girls, Glee... you get the drill but I ALWAYS avoid the series finales because of how much I cry because it feels like you're losing a part of yourself when you finish something, or in my weird little mind I do.
Well I am coming to an ending in my life pretty soon, in fact tomorrow is going to be the day that it gets pretty finalized.
You see back when I was in Ottawa this summer well a little before that I found out that my partner is likely going to be posted somewhere not here.
The thought alone was shocking but I buried it.
About a month later we found out that there were only two options for her posting, and neither was here in Fredericton... the shock was enough to tear me apart.
But eventually I made peace with it.
Finally after months of not knowing where she was going it came down last week that we're going to Manitoba.
To be perfectly honest a lot of thoughts raced through my mind when we first got notice we were leaving, period back in late September.
But being apart was never one of them for neither of us, the pros and cons lists were never broken out because no matter how big the lists were (and trust me they weren't) there was still one factor that always won.
Love.
So I came down to this conclusion, between saying goodbye to my friends, school, apartment, and city (it seems like a lot, trust me I've been called crazy for this a few times but not once has it made me second guess my decision) or saying goodbye to the love of my life, the woman who inspires me everyday to keep going and who ultimately is the person I know in every fiber of my being that I want to spend my life with, there was no list to be made, no options to be weighed.
I chose love, I choose her.
Because losing her would be worse than any goodbye.
So yea endings suck, and I'm probably gonna be a freakin ocean of tears before the next month is over.
But I guess the saying is true,, well more of a Semisonic lyric.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.
There will for sure be a part two of this one gang because, the papers might be being finalized tomorrow, but it's the actual good bye to my furniture and home that are gonna be the hard parts.
Keep holding on, I sure am tryin!
Love & Light,
VKC
Seems like that is what I have been doing a lot lately, because my life certainly has changed a lot since the last time I wrote.
But first I'd like to share something about myself that I don't really think anyone knows about me, unless they've seen me bawling over the endings of shows... well the series finales then they might know this.
I hate endings.
A few moments ago I re watched for the second time (only second because again I hate endings) the Republic of Doyle series finale.
Now I'm a pretty emotional person to begin with, added with the very fact that in the episode the two leads fought to be together, one of them ended up in the hospital while pregnant and a few gun shot wounds (she was pregnant before hand) and then when her boyfriend found her the look on his face was unbearable. I'm not gonna spill all the details of this heart wrenching moments of this show, espesially when he found out she was pregnant and how he basically almost fought several cops to go see her.. which reminded me of how badly I want to be with the one I love right now.. yea you get the picture, empathy is a powerful thing and can stir up emotions in all of us.
My point is, I'm horrible with endings.
I have watched almost every episode of my favorite series of Power Rangers, Gilmore Girls, Glee... you get the drill but I ALWAYS avoid the series finales because of how much I cry because it feels like you're losing a part of yourself when you finish something, or in my weird little mind I do.
Well I am coming to an ending in my life pretty soon, in fact tomorrow is going to be the day that it gets pretty finalized.
You see back when I was in Ottawa this summer well a little before that I found out that my partner is likely going to be posted somewhere not here.
The thought alone was shocking but I buried it.
About a month later we found out that there were only two options for her posting, and neither was here in Fredericton... the shock was enough to tear me apart.
But eventually I made peace with it.
Finally after months of not knowing where she was going it came down last week that we're going to Manitoba.
To be perfectly honest a lot of thoughts raced through my mind when we first got notice we were leaving, period back in late September.
But being apart was never one of them for neither of us, the pros and cons lists were never broken out because no matter how big the lists were (and trust me they weren't) there was still one factor that always won.
Love.
So I came down to this conclusion, between saying goodbye to my friends, school, apartment, and city (it seems like a lot, trust me I've been called crazy for this a few times but not once has it made me second guess my decision) or saying goodbye to the love of my life, the woman who inspires me everyday to keep going and who ultimately is the person I know in every fiber of my being that I want to spend my life with, there was no list to be made, no options to be weighed.
I chose love, I choose her.
Because losing her would be worse than any goodbye.
So yea endings suck, and I'm probably gonna be a freakin ocean of tears before the next month is over.
But I guess the saying is true,, well more of a Semisonic lyric.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.
There will for sure be a part two of this one gang because, the papers might be being finalized tomorrow, but it's the actual good bye to my furniture and home that are gonna be the hard parts.
Keep holding on, I sure am tryin!
Love & Light,
VKC
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